Are You "Above Average" or Just Determined?

Are You "Above Average" or Just Determined?

That might sound like a weird question. Don’t we want to be both? Or what is it better to be like?

This last week, my middle son turned 8 years old! It was a fun day (and honestly, our birthday week celebrations aren’t over)! I love seeing the work through an 8 year old. Everything is exciting. Your abilities to discover and retain information are high, while your appetite for adventure is un-quenching!

My wife and I often believe (and are told) that our sons are “above average”! Of course that feels good and I hope it’s true (though, who really knows, LOL)

But is it better to be “above average”… or just “determined”?

I listened to a podcast this morning during my workout and it was all about a successful startup company that is helping create jobs and bring freedom to marginalized women in Uganda.

The author/speaker said that studies have shown that it’s actually detrimental to praise your kids for being “above average” or special or unique. Basically, when we go overboard in that direction, it leads towards an inflated sense of ability that demotivates you.

What is the alternative?

We should praise our kids for being curious, persistent and determined! Those are true qualities that must be developed… in order to be successful in life.

When you’re frustrated - don’t give up!

When you can’t find the answer - keep looking!

When you are curious - seek and you shall find!

Kids… adults… you… and I… should focus more about being DETERMINED, then on what innate abilities we’ve been coasting on since birth. So, you’re smart… so what… keep learning! So, you’re talented… don’t let it go to your head…work harder!

I thought this was good insight and a unique way to look at life and parenting.

So Happy Birthday, son!

Be determined and curious! :)

-PDJ

Life. Leadership. Family.